There was once a horribly disheveled man who stumbled out of the Amazon rain forest and into the encampment of some very surprised anthropologists and forensic linguists from Boston University, who had assumed themselves the only Caucasian representatives for hundreds of miles around.

The Wildman of the Amazon, as he came to be known, immediately began to recount amazing stories of fantastic travels through space, time and multiple realities.  But perhaps his most fanciful and disbelievable claim was that he had personally consumed an actual Dark Matter Smash; the monetary cost of which is valued higher than the average annual GDP of the United States of America.

When asked to describe the flavor of the near-mythical beverage he replied that it tasted mostly of soap-scum and ennui, but with a nice raspberry finish.  

Suffice to say, many of the Wildman’s claims have been met with a fair level of skepticism.