The most expensive cocktail in the entire multi-Verse is a tumbler of God’s own bathwater with a splash of Angel’s Nectar and the garnishment of a marinated Singularity transfixed to the end of an infinitely pointy red plastic sword.

It is popularly called the ‘Dark Matter Smash’ or, colloquially, ‘Jehovah Juice’.

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I stood before the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter handed me a heavy, gold-leafed, gilded tome of parchment and vellum and leather, with prominent binding and reinforced spine, with transcendent end pages and an aroma of musk and peat and cedar and rose petals and funk and ambrosia and it was titled, ‘The One and Only Full Life Story and Thoughts and Deeds and Dreams and Accomplishments of the Unique and Only Being and Soul of this Particular You,’ and I thumbed through the massive volume, watching as the pages riffled passed, just as my own life had, and after a time I looked up at the Keeper of the Gates of Heaven and I said, “Feel free to edit this shit,” and I tossed the book back into his startled grasp and I brushed on past him and as I strode onto the shimmering streets of Heaven, under my breath, I muttered, “asshole,” and I’m pretty sure he heard me say it.