You can’t.
Mix your favorite cocktail.
Pour the cocktail into a classy tumbler, the classier the better. *
Add a red plastic cocktail skewer in the shape of a small sword to the cocktail.
Tell people you are drinking a Dark Matter Smash.
When questioned as to where the Marinated Singularity is, brandish the tiny sword menacingly and growl, “It’s on there.”
Now you’re living large. **
* If the classy tumbler outshines your friends, get classier friends. On second thought, see comment under How to Make a Dark Matter Smash and interpret it however you choose.
** Feel free to share your own personal Dark Matter Smash recipe with the community, Lord knows we could all use a drink.